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Hello,

How are you? Hope you are having a great week. Thank you for joining me today! This week's blog will contain two business updates and a fun couple exercise. Enjoy.

First, business updates.

Transitioning to a quarterly blog and newsletter:
I am going to transition from a weekly blog and weekly newsletter, to a quarterly blog and newsletter. I will also publish blogs and newsletters as important business updates occur.

My personal goal was to do these weekly, and I can say that I accomplished my goal and I learned a lot! I enjoy how as part of my job I get to keep learning all the time (both on the healthy relationships side and also the entrepreneurial side). Sometimes the pace is overwhelming, lol (as anyone who owns a business knows), but I really do love the journey. It's one of the reasons I started my own practice. 

As you may know, I owned a counseling private practice (Tranquil Waters Counseling and Wellness) for 4 years and then I stayed at home for 2 years full-time with my daughter. For a couple years I was a full-time stay at home parent, and so even during that short time technology changed rapidly. In coming back to work, I sought to keep an eye out for helpful technology that will benefit my clients.

This is why I have developed an informative website, an online scheduling system, and intake paperwork you can complete securely from your smartphone (HIPAA compliant too!). Furthermore, I believe that blogs and newsletters are immensely helpful too... One, for clients seeking general information about the business who are trying to identify if I'm the right fit. Two, so that people interested in the business can stay informed about helpful products or services being offered.

I am also excited to transition to working on some different areas of growth in my business, but more on that on a later date! 

I have learned a lot doing these weekly blogs and newsletters... I hope that they have been inspiring and useful for you as the reader! Thank you for following. And see you quarterly!

Changing the couples intake assessment process:
Another important business update is that I have changed the couples counseling intake assessment process. 

I am excited to announce that I will be implementing a recommended intake assessment approach from Drs. John and Julie Gottman (2). This was inspired by my Level 1 (3) and Level 2 (4) Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Click the links if you want to learn more about them.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy recommends from their research that the initial assessment appointments involve the following: one meeting with the couple together, and separate individual appointments with each partner alone. The fourth session is a feedback session on the findings and counselor treatment recommendations. 

I am proud to now be offering couples this assessment and feedback process. In the past I only assessed couples together at the intake. As you may know, if you have done couples counseling before or if you have ever worked on growing as a couple, your journeys are both together and separate. Furthermore, you may also have discovered (or may have been a little disappointed, lol!) that the only person you can change is yourself! This is one of the many reasons I am excited to connect with each partner individually, so I can better understand each person's journey and goals.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy has some really amazing tools for helping couples to emotionally connect; possibly even in deep ways they have never done before. If you are in couples counseling with me you will likely see some of these helpful strategies! I really love their approach!

​Now, on to the fun couple exercise!

Usually at the top of my blogs I have a picture, but today I included a song by Maren Morris (1). I specifically chose a version with lyrics so you could read them while you listen.  This song resonated with me as a relationship therapist because Maren explores profound relationship truths in a beautiful song. 

The song is chock full of great relationship observations (and possible discussion points), but I will just explore one! Maren describes in the song how the paint can be peeling on the house or the glass could shatter, but as long as the bones are strong on the house, the house will still stand. I think this is very true in relationships. I often talk with couples about this, and I incorporate this in my life with my own family.

The paint peeling and the glass shattering are the problems that come up, differences in personality or style, normal developmental changes that are stressful, or mistakes we make. I like to emphasize that we cannot change that these things happen. There is no couple relationship that doesn't have problems or differences in personality! The goal of every couple is not to have an absence of problems, but to be able to feel stronger on the other side of conflict and challenges.

Additionally, what counts in having a long-term and mutually satisfying relationship are the bones... The bones are having integrity, being trustworthy, committing to each other, apologizing sincerely and making changes when you make a bad decision, honoring your partner's concerns and dreams (even when different from your own), being a friend, and always growing in your communication skills so that you can more smoothly work through the inevitable daily and weekly bumps in the road. I also think the bones could be considered the shared values you have. 

This is what couples counseling is about... Helping couples to be able to handle problems and differences in a way that leaves the couple feeling more connected and stronger on the other side. It's about developing relationship resilience and a lasting emotional connection.

Exercise directions:

• Listen to the song with your partner.
• Take turns sharing your thoughts and observations.
• What images, memories, specific examples, thoughts, and feelings arise when you listen to this song? 
• What do you feel are the bones of a relationship?
• When do you remember a time when things were difficult, but you felt stronger on the other side of a conflict or problem? What did you say or do that you can remember to do again in the future?
• What is one thing you can take away from this song and apply to your life moving forward?
• Have fun connecting!

​Have a wonderful rest of the week.

All the best,
​Holly ​

PS - Can I send you an email about once a quarter? The email will have a link to my latest blog post in case there is a topic you are interested in. As the business grows and I add more products and services, I will mention in the email what has been added.

References and Links
​(1) ​https://youtu.be/oODllqrxrLQ
(2) https://www.gottman.com/about/john-julie-gottman/ 
(3) https://www.gottman.com/professionals/training/level-1/
(4) ​https://www.gottman.com/professionals/training/level-2/

Hello friends!

No regular Thursday blog or newsletter today. Be back soon. Have a wonderful day!

All the best,
Holly